The transition to the shorter days of autumn can have an impact for many of us on our libido, our levels of arousal and our availability for intimacy either with and for ourselves or with partners.
Our sexual interest is very much affected by our overall sense of wellbeing and for some, the darker nights can fuel desire and passions and others find their ardour is, much like the weather, cooler and damper. Whatever your sexual response to this time of year, here are some ways to support your physical, mental and sexual vitality.
Your daily dose of sunshine:
74% of the UK population are deficient or have below optimum levels of Vitamin D, affecting immune system, mood and sexual function. We get most of our Vitamin D from the sun, and since we spend most of our time inside during the colder months, we get less of it. So Daily doses of Vitamins D (with Vitamin K) together with Vitamin C to support immunity and improve circulation and Zinc to help increase testosterone levels can not only improve your mood, but can support the balancing of sex hormone levels and even improve erection satisfaction! ***
Balance:
Autumn and winter are natural hibernation times, and more people stay at home this time of year. If you live with people, it can be hard to find time for yourself. And if you live alone, it can be harder to find time to connect with other people.
We all need a balance of alone time and contact and it’s important to find a balance that’s right for you. What is it that you need? And how can you create this? Do you need to connect more with friends, perhaps you need to walk alone in the wilds or maybe you can treat yourself to a massage. I’m here to remind you that your needs matter, what you want is important. So whatever it is that helps you feel connected and alive, make plans and reach for that.
Let it go:
Autumn is a time of letting go, releasing of what we no longer need. last Autumn, I opened storage boxes of memories not touched for 10 years. Photos, birthday cards, gifts from lovers past. And my old wedding ring. With love in my heart and an intention to let go, I burned nearly all of it, releasing the energy that was attached to these things and holding me to the past. Once done, I felt reenergised and able to move away from the past into the here and now and feel more readiness to turn towards my path ahead.
What do you need to let go of? Old clothes, old love letters, limiting beliefs about yourself? To let go of working too hard to please your employers, your clients or other relationships? Do you need to end a stale relationship or to let go of the resentments that are lingering between you and a beloved?
When we can clear the past, and clear the air in our relationships, we can free up energy for our own nourishment and vitality.
Health is the new black:
Sex and health are inextricably linked and let’s face it, nothing squashes a sex drive like being out of sorts. So get your flu jab, your booster jab, get your sexual health checked out, And if you are over 50, get your prostate gland checked (because 50% of men over the age of 50 develop an enlarged prostate and that needs checking!). And whether it’s Night Nurse, lemon and honey, multivitamins and minerals, homeopathic remedies, water based lube or latex free condoms, get stocked up and ready.
Take care of your mental health, destress, breathe to help cope with nervous system dysregulation, anxiety, stress or difficulty sleeping. See if this technique is helpful? Develop and strengthening bonds in your relationships by sharing meals with friends, family, colleagues, partners. Dedicate and allow time for connection and unwinding together. And there are always alternative options to explore by maybe joining a new diners club or other social group. See meet up to connect with new people.
Supporting your body’s hormone and endorphin production can boost your mood and your sexual energy. Exercise, even walking rather than taking the car, can increase your stamina, help you feel more confident about yourself, and make it easier for you to enjoy sex! And if you experience anxieties or difficulties in intimacy and sex, maybe now is the time to sort out your sex life.
In the Bedroom:
We spend an average of one third of our lives sleeping and it is essential for everything your body needs. From boosting your immune system to preventing heart disease and weight gain (yes, you read that right!) Give your body the gift it needs with some sleep tips from The Sleep Foundation.
Perhaps you are ready to bring more passion into your relationship or want to find ways to reignite the connection with your beloved – see here my tips for swooning. I also offer An opportunity to learn Tantric Massage for your partner or the both of you can come for a Tantric Massage Intimacy Retreat for Couples.
One for the road!
The occasional glass of red wine has been shown to increase sexual desire but it’s also clear that excessive alcohol can be harmful to your intimacy. Anything from releasing supressed emotions such as anxiety, to not being able to tune into what your body really needs and from missing cues from your partner to loss of erections.
Alcohol acts as a depressant to our nervous systems, which may help you deal with the performance anxiety or to last longer but ultimately it makes actually less pleasurable overall. There are other ways to get more from sex!
Get professional sexual health advice
Leading a healthy lifestyle and taking your sexuality into your own hands can make a huge difference in the way you experience your own body, sex and intimacy. So get to know yourself, be safe, and enjoy!
And if you suspect that there are deeper issues keeping you from fully enjoying sex, don’t hesitate to talk to your friendly local sexpert and as a certified sex geek, that would be me!
***always follow manufacturers advice on dosage levels when taking supplements Or speak with a medical professional, nutritionist or kinesiologist for specific support around diet and supplements. Your GP can offer a blood test for Vitamin D deficiency and is also your first port of call for a prostate check.
Has what you’ve read here resonate for you? Then perhaps you are ready to explore something new with me. Click here to arrange a free consultation call and discover more about Pleasure through Tantric Massage, Discover your Potential and get better at sex and step into your Power with bespoke Tantric experiences.
I look forward to meeting you.