Unearthing my darkest fantasies isn’t something I thought I would ever be comfortable talking about publicly. But it’s part of the territory of being a safer practitioner – learning about myself – including the darker stuff. I’m basically doing the kind of learning and growing that clients are wanting to and needing to do. And because I’ve done some of that work around facing my fears, overcoming shame and coming to terms with these parts of myself, I am better equipped to help guide others.
I have some pretty intense fantasies; ones that I could never voice, that I kept locked down, deep inside myself that I didn’t even dare to entertain. But the trouble was, they were leaking out in other ways. This is why I call them Troublesome Turn-ons. Because, while I was doing my best to ignore and suppress my desires, I was behaving in ways I wasn’t comfortable with. I couldn’t figure out why! though I knew that I had to work it out, so that I could enjoy men’s company without trying to manipulate them into getting my secret desires met.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because almost everyone has desires that they consider shameful and unspeakable – stop reading a moment and check in with yourself – do you have these too?
‘K’ describes his experience “For decades I was looking for something, never sure what. Working with Sian, helped me discover that my special turn-on is Transgression.
I was raised in a Catholic environment where any deviation from the norm was a “sin”. But I enjoyed being made up as a woman for school plays. And it didn’t end there; I quietly rebelled at school, later I challenged strict corporate dress codes, took covert visits to spas, indulged in private “Splosh” sessions and explored serial infidelity during my marriage.
But working with Sian, I have explored and experimented with this erotic theme of Transgression. I’ve tried Tantra, erotic touch, sploshing, and cross-dressing. And for the first time in my life, I feel as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
While often “troublesome”, I have welcomed all of these explorations; they are all parts of me. The best bit of the journey with Sian has been the relief and my self-acceptance. Coming out to Sian and having her support, has helped me accept who I am. My transgressive life has mainly been in secret, but it has hurt no one. I am merely me being me. And finally, at the age of 71, I can love being me.”
Like K, I have had a deep journey too – exploring the taboo elements of my own erotic arousal – stepping into my vulnerability – facing and unraveling my shame and finding a deeper Sexual Empowerment.
And like K, I worked with a colleague, a practitioner like me. I had 4 sessions over the course of a year, each one delving gently further into exploring my desires.
It feels quite revolutionary, my internal erotic landscape has shifted. I no longer have to hide these parts of me. I am now free to fully own and express these aspects of myself and this feels like…liberation; s&xual and &rotic and personal freedom.
Exploring sexual taboos and troublesome turn-ons is a delight, both personally and in offering this work as a practitioner. It is, quite simply, an amazing journey. I wonder whether this is something you would like to explore too?
Arrange a free Consultation Call to see how we might work together.