Tips for Sensational Self Pleasure

Written by Sian Johnson

I’m passionate about helping men and their partners navigate the beautiful complexities of intimacy, desire, and relationships. As a Bodyworker and Sex Coach, I blend innovation with a holistic approach, considering not just the physical body but also the mind, heart, and soul. My goal is to create a safe space where genuine connections and transformations can happen.

October 10, 2023

Most of us masturbate to some degree or other. Here are some top tips to bring more sensuality to your self-pleasuring:

Set aside time:

Many of us hesitate to prioritise our own needs, this is true across all areas of our lives, and especially true when it comes to pleasure associated with the body. This is an invitation for you to carve out some ‘you time’, specifically for erotic encounters with yourself. The act of consciously creating space for your pleasure needs, can enable relaxation and play as well as arousal. And can open you up for more exploration and potentially more joy.

Create more choice:

If you usually sit, then stand. If you usually lie down, then sit or stand, or move around from one position to another. Mixing up your movement can free yourself from habitual positions, release tension from your body particularly in the arms, shoulders, neck back and pelvis and can enhance sensation and pleasure.

Change your grip:

You know exactly how to get maximum sensation from a particular genital stroke or pressure point. Spend more time with different strokes and explore sensation across other areas of your pelvis rather than focusing purely on your penis.

Set a new goal:

Most self-pleasure is functional and focuses on reaching climax. How would it be for your self-touch to be much more about experiencing sensation across the whole of your body? Can you make experiencing sensation your goal and open up awareness of non-genital arousal? You can still cum, but now it can be enhanced with extra sensations.

Healthier porn watching:

If you watch porn, try to alternate where you are placing your attention. Have your attention on the screen for a short while and then bring your attention to the sensations in your body for a while. Then move your attention back to the screen before returning to your body. Play with alternating where you place your awareness and notice if you have a different experience.

Reframe your self-pleasure:

An invitation to swap the many derogatory words we unconsciously use (like wanking) to words like body play, or self-pleasure or even self-loving or solo-loving. When we consciously make this switch, we can sidestep much of the shame associated with the furtive fumblings of our teenage explorations and opens up possibilities for easier and less self-conscious explorations of pleasure.

Why this stuff works:

The body and brain like to create routines and so they create neural pathways in the brain that become our default learned habits. This is useful when we are learning to drive or learn a new song on the guitar but it also means that we can get stuck in routines of arousal; so much so, that it can become hard to experience anything different. These are just some of the techniques that can help to dispense with habit and boring or functional touch and transform your self-pleasure to something much more satisfying.

Check out The Sexual Empowerment Programme page for more information.

Has what you’ve read here resonate for you? Then perhaps you are ready to explore something new with me. Click here to arrange a free consultation call and discover more about Pleasure through Sexual Empowerment.